“What We Talk About When We Talk About Love”, One of Raymond Carver’s best stories and the perfect place to start. It is after all the day before Valentines Day. Ironically it is also Friday the 13Th. And the really scary, really bizarre thing about today is…I am actually in a good mood. I even gave out Valentines…OK almost. I thought about it.
Traditionally in my life Valentine’s Day is a day to be hated. This year, for some reason, I feel different. I blame this new development on a movie titled Love Actually. Although that is not entirely correct. The movie was really just an expression of what I truly believe inside. The movie itself helped me to realize that I was not alone. That other people get it. That is always a nice thing to know.
Yesterday I was reminded of all the people that love me. It’s been going on all week really and I haven’t been paying any attention. Like I said. I’ve been in a sort of funk lately. But love surrounds me, and there is no reason that I should be afraid to celebrate that.
I bring this up not just because it T-1 day until V-Day, but because I remembered something that I had long ago given up of. When I was younger I used to believe that rules were made to be broken, so to speak. I’m not saying I was breaking the law or doing anything drastically illegal. I wasn’t even a bad teenager. I rarely got into trouble. Although there are people who would argue that the only reason I didn’t get in trouble was because I was smart enough to not get caught. However, as I got older something happened which made me forget this. I started believing that there was no way around the rules. I started feeling like I had to learn how to make my way in the system that society has created.
But love isn’t like that. And life to an extent shouldn’t be like that. When you confine yourself to the expectations and rules that society has taught us to believe you miss out on so much more. You are essentially cutting yourself off from possibilities so great and opportunities so rare, that the majority of people will never experience it. So in honor of St. Valentine remember, that there are no rules in love. Happy Valentine’s Day.