So I haven’t written in a while, and I was doing so well too! But isn’t that how life goes. Just when you think everything is perfect, when you’re full of hope and joy something comes crashing down. Well nothing came crashing down, except my mood maybe. I was high all last week, obscenely high, I don’t think I have ever been that happy for that long of time and there are people who will vouch for me, but it was inevitable that I would begin to fade. Now I am just tired.



So writing wise…I got my rejection from F&SF. It was a happy moment. LOL. It is written on cute little letterhead, and very polite. I guess I was expecting a plain white sheet of paper with a rejected stamp across them middle and a fake signature. So I was pleased with what I got. I would have been more pleased if the story had sold. LOL. But I think it is better this way. Can you imagine selling your first story? The amount of pressure and expectation you would have the second time around. Honestly I know I have a lot to learn when it comes to my writing. In fact, sitting here typing this out makes me want to run home and start working on my novel, or revising a short story. I kind of would like to have enough stock stories that as soon as I get a rejection letter from one magazine I can ship out a new one. Jeez, 8 days, that is pretty damn fast. There are 911 operators who are less responsive than that.



So, so, so…. I am having trouble finding my voice, in regards to my writing. Well I know what my voice sounds like, I am having trouble finding other representations of it fiction. I have found a few novels that have the same tone and flow, (somewhere in the U.S. there’s an English Teacher who is poking her eyes out at these vague descriptive writing attributes) but I cannot find any short stories. Which is bad, because I don’t know where to submit my stories. I also don’t really like reading short stories. I never have, and though I can appreciate it, there is something about a novel that is more satisfying. The complexity, the turmoil, the inner lives of the characters. I like being pulled into that world, becoming the character with all their problems and living their experiences. For me I just don’t get that in short stories. Sure there is some good short fiction out there, but and if the story is put together well, it should be just as rich and complex as a novel. But I think I am going to maybe go back on my earlier decision to push through with short stories. I will continue writing them, but I think it is time I get my first three chapters out to the WG. (WG is my new name for the Writing Group). I am mentally working on a second novel, the one that may be more marketable than the first, but I decided that I need to focus on the first one. I need to complete it. I need to be able to say that I have completed it. I need to know that I can write a novel. I think it is better to practice and get one under my belt, before I start on this other one, which is much more complex, and requires a lot of back story.



Oh did I forget to mention that my adapter to my laptop broke, and since the battery needs replaced my computer will only stay on for about 20 minutes before shutting down? Do you know how much power cords cost? Yeah, not cheap. 60 bucks and I believe that is for a new one. I wonder if any kind of computer cord will do or if t has to be dell. I swear I have had nothing but problems for the last year with my computer. I can’t figure out what is wrong with it. All kinds of things, apparently but I have been told it might be my operating system. If I put a new operating system on the computer that might solve some of the problems. Unfortunately it won’t solve the power problem. AHHH! Ok. Oh did I forget to mention that my adapter to my laptop broke, and since the battery needs replaced my computer will only stay on for about 20 minutes before shutting down? Do you know how much power cords cost? Yeah, not cheap. 60 bucks and I believe that is for a new one. I wonder if any kind of computer cord will do or if t has to be dell. I swear I have had nothing but problems for the last year with my computer. I can’t figure out what is wrong with it. All kinds of things, apparently but I have been told it might be my operating system. If I put a new operating system on the computer that might solve some of the problems. Unfortunately it won’t solve the power problem. AHHH! Ok.